Four years
I settled for bread crumbs
when I wanted the entire loaf
a piece of passion
a slice of emotional bondedness
a life built together
not adjacent, apart
Four years
I convinced myself to believe that
this year will be better, different
because that’s what you promised me
better
different
Four years
Shit stayed the same
Shit slid + shifted +
shit its own bed
actually
Four years
How do two people so in
Love
get here?
Full of resentment
regret
remission
Remission
Cancer
Toxicity
Death
Death
Sweet death
Four years
down the drain
wasted
no . . .
I loved our time together
I wouldn’t trade it for the world
you taught me
my worth
you reminded me that
life is for LIVING
you showed me the exact
partner I do not want
Four years
Lessons in learning what
Love is not . . .
sacrificing
shrinking
secrecy
Four years
now you can’t even
meet my eyes
but you stop me
in the driveway
to tell me you miss me
you miss me?
you only love me
when I’m gone
I deserve more
a partner who misses me
when they still have me
so
I no longer settle for
bread crumbs
when I now know I am
worthy of
the entire fucking loaf
“Four Years”
4/26/23
