I am Terrified to Love You

i am terrified to love you 

i’ve waited my whole life for 

someone like you

without even knowing it 

without the awareness that 

it could be this easy 

to rest in the arms of love 

with such trust and peace

to be looked after and cared for in the 

ways i wish my folks had loved me 

to be held and seen by clear eyes in the

ways that i let few people witness 

to be desired and praised by a most 

passionate lover 

your full embracing of me 

feels like too much 

too good to be true 

what’s your end game? 

to have spent a lifetime of 

assuming it normal to 

fall short of having my

most basic needs be met 

to bloom then wilt in homes 

where i had to 

shrivel and die just to be 

tolerated

not accepted 

to now have someone 

you 

to see me

to love me

to make me whole

to now have someone 

you 

bake the cake my 

father never made 

take an hour of your 

work day to chat 

drive 30 minutes to kiss me

hello and drop off snacks 

i am terrified to love you 

but i do


”I am Terrified to Love You”
Jan 2024