I am Terrified to Love You
i am terrified to love you
i’ve waited my whole life for
someone like you
without even knowing it
without the awareness that
it could be this easy
to rest in the arms of love
with such trust and peace
to be looked after and cared for in the
ways i wish my folks had loved me
to be held and seen by clear eyes in the
ways that i let few people witness
to be desired and praised by a most
passionate lover
your full embracing of me
feels like too much
too good to be true
what’s your end game?
to have spent a lifetime of
assuming it normal to
fall short of having my
most basic needs be met
to bloom then wilt in homes
where i had to
shrivel and die just to be
tolerated
not accepted
to now have someone
you
to see me
to love me
to make me whole
to now have someone
you
bake the cake my
father never made
take an hour of your
work day to chat
drive 30 minutes to kiss me
hello and drop off snacks
i am terrified to love you
but i do
”I am Terrified to Love You”
Jan 2024
I Hope You Live
I hope you live.
Beyond surviving + hustling + worrying about next steps. Now is not the time for small talk, scrolling, anxious looping thoughts. I hope you are so nauseatingly present in each + every moment of your life that you are overcome with joy + love + gratitude.
I hope you live.
Read in the sun.
Paint a “bad” picture.
Get the tattoo.
Jump in the pool.
Laugh so hard your belly hurts.
Relax in a hammock.
Send the text.
Howl at the moon.
I hope you live.
I hope you live the life *you* truly desire. Despite the expectations of others. In spite of your own limiting beliefs about what you’re capable of.
Because this one precious life of yours is *so* short …
I hope you L I V E it to the fullest, dear one.
Love Letter # 24
Honor your emotions
Let them flow
Create
Move
Don’t sink
Don’t run
Don’t criticize or
Shame
Settle in
Be gentle
Pause
Soften
Reach out
Even allow a wallow
From time to time
But do not suffer for the sake of
Being fearful
Of what’s on the other side of your pain
Love letter to Self # 24
7/1/22