i find myself
surrounded by
strong women
our original mother,
Nature
the soft glow of fire
the sweet sound of silence
i inhale the smoky air
i root my feet in her earth
i surrender to her gentle waves
i lift my gaze to her heavens
i sense the slow shift -
my nervous system
temporarily settling
then returning to its
normal state of tension
i move my incredible body
in the way he asks me to
slow
steady
honoring the playful
bursts of energy
when they come
my jaw unclenches
my shoulders drop
my hips finally let go
this body holds
so many memories
beautiful
painful
shocking
hard truths
laughter
pleasure
heartache
sorrow
regret
they can all feel as
engulfing as her waters
so i let her hold me
in my joy and
in my pain
and everywhere in between
especially the in between
the unknowing
the fearful reminders of
the lack of safety
the doubtful next steps
but what if
there are no next steps
36 years in this vessel
this sacred home, body
and just now i am learning
the art of slowing down
what if i had been a
kid who camped
would my body have
felt like a safer place to exist
would i have learned sooner to
turn to this precious land for
guidance
relief
acceptance
would i be a
different person
would i be more healed
more calm
more me
“what if i had been a kid who camped”
July 4, 2024
Evangola State Park