For the Sensitive Souls

I wrote this piece to record as a voiceover for this video. Feel free to watch it here.

This is for the sensitive souls who actually aren’t that sensitive.

For the ones who learned that showing your feelings is too vulnerable, unwelcome.

So you crushed them far down your throat. 

You learned to mask up + craft walls too high to climb.

You instead learned to channel all those emotions inwardly- to shame yourself for being too needy, too overwhelmed, too excited, too much.

Because when you do express your emotions, they are too big for others to handle. But guess what, sweet one? That’s on them.

You are not too much. And you are not not enough. 

You are incredible + beautiful just the way you are.

Sensitive. Feeling. Overcome by a wide range of emotions day in + day out.

Please don’t numb them or hide them or shame them away.

Let them rise in your chest, your belly, your eyes.

Let them flow out of you in your poetry, dance, painting, music.

The world needs your sensitivity. And the world needs your art.

Bath or No Bath?

If you hate taking a bath, it’s probably for one of two reasons:

1) The thought of sitting still - alone - with your thoughts is daunting. 

Or…

2) You’re kinnnnndaaaaa type A/ perfectionist/ neat freak + think it’s disgusting.

Am I right or … am I right? :) 

There seems to be only two types of responses to baths - love em or hate em, no in-between. I’m not here to judge - I used to hate baths. My controlling, OCD-level-of-clean nature hated the thought of sitting in a room-temperature giant vat of my own grime. Gross! 

But I also was incapable of being alone with myself. My mind was loud as shit - with all the chatter of the ways I fucked up or didn’t measure up. My body was in near-constant pain, screaming for attention + compassion. My sweet little heart was so lost, so defeated. 

So, yea, sitting in a nasty tub alone with all that? Hard pass. 

What’s your take on baths? 

Beyond that, what’s your relationship with yourself? 

Are you able to + interested in spending time alone? Are you open to self-awareness + self-love? Are you scared of what you may discover if you turn inwards + spend more quality time with you? 

If you want a deeper, more meaningful relationship with yourself - let me know. Let’s work one-on-one to delve into the parts of you you’ve forgotten: the pain you’ve ignored, the anxiety-inducing thoughts. 

Self-discovery doesn’t have to be scary + it is so, SO worth it in the long-run. 

Learn more about working with me here.

The Pause Between

Written May 24, 2022

My friend described it perfectly. Life, right now, feels like that moment between an inhale + an exhale. 

Do it. Take a deep breath in. 

Pause… Pause… Wait. 
Pause… Keep holding… 
Tightening. Constricting. 
Still no sigh of relief yet. 
Can you sip in one more breath of air? 
FUCKING PAUSE. 

That’s what these last few months - years if I’m being honest - have felt like. 

4 out-of-state moves in 4 years.  
4 times to start over + try to settle somewhere new.
4 years of not knowing what comes next + when that fucking exhale will arrive.
4 years of holding my breath + allowing that anxiety to drown me.
4 years of unsettled ungroundedness.
4 years of feeling like I’m stuck in survival mode, unable to easily breathe in + out.

I’ve been incredibly unkind to myself these last 4 years. Feeling like a failure at so many things.  Working odd jobs, knowing we wouldn’t be in one place for too long. Trying to start a business when it feels like maybe that just isn’t meant to happen for me. Struggling to make meaningful connections that I know will likely be severed in a matter of time anyway. 

I am tired. 
I am tired of moving. 
I am tired of starting over.
I am tired of building a new community for myself every single year.
I am tired of meaningless work. 

I. Am. Just. So. Tired.

Let Your Pain Migrate

To listen to the guided version of this meditation, please click here.

Today, I want to guide you through a little meditation for pain.

A lot of times when we’re experiencing pain, the first thing we want to do is get rid of it. We resist + maybe even focus on it so much, that all of our attention can make the pain worse.

Today, I invite you to try something that’s been helpful for me lately.

Before we jump in, let’s settle in. You can be seated or lying down for this. You may be in a chair or on the floor - whatever will work best for you. Take a few moments to get comfy. Fidget, wiggle, roll the head side-to-side. Whatever you need.

Take a few deep breaths. Inhale through the nose - expand the belly.
Easy breath out - open mouth - sigh it out.
Take a few more like that.

I invite you to keep taking cleansing breaths (in through the nose, out of the mouth) or let your normal breath return. Breathe in + out. In + out.

Maybe right now you’re experiencing pain. Maybe you have chronic pain. Bring your attention to the area of the body in pain. Whether it’s your neck, jaw, hip, low back, knee, ankle, arm, doesn’t matter. Notice the sensations there. Is it tight? Tingling? A dull ache? A sharper pain?

If you’re like me, I experience most of my pain to one side - my left jaw/ neck, left hip, left knee, etc. It’s easy to keep all my attention on one side of my body. Maybe you experience that, maybe not.

Today, we’re going to play with allowing that pain dissipate into the rest of the body. So bring your attention to the pain.

Find some place in the body that’s opposite the pain - physically in the body + in sensation. If it’s your left hip that bothers you or is in pain, notice how the right hip feels. Find a place that feels good- where there is no pain, or less pain. Where you feel strong, relaxed.

Start to envision that good feeling traveling across your body to the other side. Whatever that good feeling is to you - maybe it’s relaxed sensation, strength, maybe it’s an absence of pain, something more neutral. Allow that to spread through your body - especially to the side where pain exists.

Take a deep breath.
Beautiful.

Now bring your attention back to the area of pain. Can you start to allow that pain to travel to the other side of your body? The side that feels good, relaxed, neutral. We aren’t trying to force the pain out or get rid of.

Can you start to let the pain + the sensation in that one area travel throughout the body?

If your first instinct is a little bit of pain or fear- because you don’t want more pain in the body of course - that’s ok. You can just sit with that today. Maybe you return to this meditation + allow that sensation to dissipate or envision it breaking down into pieces that float throughout the body. They are so small + the pain isn’t as noticeable.

You can spend as much time here as you need. Feel into the body’s sensation of moving pain around the body.

Can you start to integrate the body into one whole being? Allow the pain to mix with the relaxed sensation.

Maybe you still have attachments to pain being a “bad” thing. Allow “bad” side of the body to intermingle with the “good” side of your body. Something to play with as you sit to meditate or the next time you feel an increase in your pain + awareness. Allow those feel good parts of the body to meld into the other side. Allow the pain to melt into the opposite side as well.

Take another round of deep breaths.

Start to bring some awareness back to your body.
I hope you enjoyed this mediation.

Follow along on Instagram @emindmove