Self Screensaver

Is it weird that I set my laptop’s wallpaper to this photograph of myself?

I don’t worry about that when I’m home alone, but when I sit down to work at a coffee shop, I am unexplainably aware of how weird it must be that I have a photograph of MYSELF stretched across a 13-inch computer screen.

“How fucking narcissistic is she?” is what I presume most people would think if they noticed.

But what they don’t know is the years it’s taken to heal my relationship with my body, my movement, even how I feel about dance itself. 

So yes, I proudly display this gorgeous photograph by Hannah Sharriee as my own wallpaper. Because it makes me feel seen, cherished, and deeply cared for by my own self for once. 

And if that ain’t healin’ babes, I don’t know what is!

Play is the Cure

I know you’re tired
Tired of growing, healing, change
Tired of finding the lesson, of being grateful

I want you to wallow + rage
I want you to throw yourself a pity party
I want you to indulge, let loose
I want you to burn your life to the ground

I know you’re tired of being the good girl
Tired of worrying, fretting
Tired of feeling so much lack
Tired of feeling… period

I want you to know + truly embody that
You are enough
You
Just you
As you are 
Not because of your job title
Or your income
Not because of your clothes or car 
or online presence 
YOU are enough

I want you to meet this tired version of you
With gentleness, love, compassion
What does she really need?

I want you to swim in sweetness
To meet your shadow sides with ease
To hold those hard-to-see places with eyes of curiosity
Not judgment

I want you to abandon routines when
your body is craving
Rest + play
Soften around the should’s, 
the “must” do’s of work + life

Flow into your feminine energy
Trust + fully surrender that every single thing that is 
Aligned for you is headed your way
In perfect timing + perfect form

I know you are tired
Play is the cure

“Play is the Cu e”
1-5-23 

Life Five Fires Ago

Life, five fires ago, was
Wildly different
often alone…
Lonely?
I’d travel the coast in
search of more
More adventure
More men
more me

Riding the coattails of
“success” + what was
meant to make Us Happy
But she was
Never happy

You can’t feel happy if
You don’t allow yourself to
Feel Sad Too

Reconnect with the girl from
Five Fires Ago
hold her
love her
let her go

Theguelphpoet prompts
11/30/22

Love Letter # 24

Honor your emotions
Let them flow
Create
Move

Don’t sink
Don’t run
Don’t criticize or 
Shame

Settle in
Be gentle
Pause
Soften

Reach out
Even allow a wallow
From time to time

But do not suffer for the sake of
Being fearful
Of what’s on the other side of your pain


Love letter to Self # 24
7/1/22 

How We Do December Wrong

I’ve been learning about and embodying this concept of shifting with the seasons. 

Spring is equated with renewal, growth, increased activity. 

Summer is made for fun in the sun. 

Fall is a time of shedding; slowing down, beginning to turn inward in preparation for winter. 

And in winter, we bask in quiet stillness and solitude. 

Yet in our culture, fall and winter are often the busiest seasons of the year. Christmas parties, holiday traditions, excessive drinking and celebrating, overindulging and overspending. We find ourselves caught up in the chaos of a busy social schedule every year and we wonder why we’re stressed, overwhelmed, and sick. 

We do December wrong. 

I’m not here to tell you to no longer attend a single social gathering in the month of December. No way! 

I am here, however, to invite you to examine if those social gatherings are truly nourishing and fulfilling you or are they leaving you drained? Are there some you attend out of obligation/ SHOULDs and can you let them go?

Most Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are introverted, so maybe your ability to say “no” to social outings is greater than mine. But I am one of the rare extroverted HSP unicorns who does, in fact, love spending time with others. BUT…

This time of year is begging us for introspection, for more practices of self-inquiry and solitude.

Can you do both - find alone time and still be social? Of course. 

How can you slow down this season? To be clear about who and what really deserves your attention and energy?


Photograph by Hannah Sharriee

Bath or No Bath?

If you hate taking a bath, it’s probably for one of two reasons:

1) The thought of sitting still - alone - with your thoughts is daunting. 

Or…

2) You’re kinnnnndaaaaa type A/ perfectionist/ neat freak + think it’s disgusting.

Am I right or … am I right? :) 

There seems to be only two types of responses to baths - love em or hate em, no in-between. I’m not here to judge - I used to hate baths. My controlling, OCD-level-of-clean nature hated the thought of sitting in a room-temperature giant vat of my own grime. Gross! 

But I also was incapable of being alone with myself. My mind was loud as shit - with all the chatter of the ways I fucked up or didn’t measure up. My body was in near-constant pain, screaming for attention + compassion. My sweet little heart was so lost, so defeated. 

So, yea, sitting in a nasty tub alone with all that? Hard pass. 

What’s your take on baths? 

Beyond that, what’s your relationship with yourself? 

Are you able to + interested in spending time alone? Are you open to self-awareness + self-love? Are you scared of what you may discover if you turn inwards + spend more quality time with you? 

If you want a deeper, more meaningful relationship with yourself - let me know. Let’s work one-on-one to delve into the parts of you you’ve forgotten: the pain you’ve ignored, the anxiety-inducing thoughts. 

Self-discovery doesn’t have to be scary + it is so, SO worth it in the long-run. 

Learn more about working with me here.

Why I Journal

I journal to release the constant, running thoughts in my brain onto the paper. ⁣⁣

I journal to rewrite my own story. ⁣⁣

I journal to catch myself speaking unkindly to me. ⁣⁣

I journal to create, to heal, to grow. ⁣⁣

I journal to slow the fuck down. ⁣⁣

I journal for me - to mother myself + unlearn my past conditioning. ⁣⁣

I journal for my marriage - because it’s cheaper than therapy 🤪.⁣⁣

I journal as future me - she is bold, peaceful, kind, giving, creative, proud, and a badass boss bitch. ⁣⁣

These pages are a place for me to be unapologetically me. ⁣⁣

Want to journal but you aren’t sure how to start? Check out my journal, Me Here Now, here.

⁣⁣

Need some more inspiration for your journaling journey? Here are some of my favorites:

+ @the.holistic.psychologist - Dr. Nicole is the creator of the [FREE!] Future-Self Journal which allows for space to observe and change behaviors, thought patterns, and reactions so you become more aligned with your… you got it, future self!⁣⁣

⁣⁣+ @inspiredtowrite - Every time Amie posts, I am reminded that I am worthy of making art, deserving of rest, and that mothering myself on the pages is the key to healing. Her Compendium [$19.99] is a great tool if you aren’t sure what to write about in your journal. She offers 31 prompts to get you started!⁣⁣

+ @fiveminutejournal - This is how my journaling journey began! With the 5-minute gratitude journal [$24.95]. Each morning, you briefly share 3 things you’re grateful for, what would make today great, and your daily affirmation(s); each evening - 3 things that were amazing in the day and ways in which today could have been better. This is great for starting out because you’re given a simple guide to follow and it takes just 5 minutes each day!