Weeping Willow Tree

Beneath the willow tree
I weep
For the time I wasted
Worrying

Hating my body
Despite how hard she works
Ashamed of my heart
For how sensitive + grand she is

Rejecting myself to be
Accepted by others
Questioning my every decision
Doubting myself

With each tear
I choose to free myself
Free from pain, doubt, fear

I lift my wet face to the sky
I breathe …
I embody peace + ease
Worry only steals my joy


”Weeping Willow Tree”
December 23, 2021

Feel Good Feeling

That feel good feeling
You know the one -
Where time is slowed +
Everything is easy

Well, it didn’t last long
Fear crept back in -
Like night washes away the sun
A tight grip around my throat

What is it I’m protecting myself from?
My own thoughts + worries?
A false sense of control
When really I have none

How does one continue to access that
Feel good feeling?
Drugs Sex Lies… No
Presence
Slowing
Truth

That feel good feeling
You know the one -
Like sun warming you from the inside out
Everything is easy


”Feel Good Feeling”
December 14, 2021

Shrunk

I shrunk myself to be more palatable
To be softer, quieter, kinder
To fit the mold you expect a woman to cage herself in

I shrunk myself to be more appealing
To be thinner, lighter, pushed over
To gain your validation because
Your list was more vital than my own love

I shrunk myself to be more -
No, actually - just to be less…
Less bold
Less deserving
Less wild
Less sexual
Less myself

But I will shrink myself for no one
Not you + most certainly not myself
I will downsize myself no more

Like a spring flower in
B
L
O
O
M
I will expand
Rise
Flourish


”Shrunk”
December 10, 2021

10 Things for HSPs to Know

10 things I want you - as an HSP - to know:

10- You are a Human with Special Perceptions 
HSP, or “Highly Sensitive Person”, doesn’t yield much empowerment, huh? It kind of sounds like you’ve got a contagious disease. I termed the phrase “Human with Special Perceptions” so that we can all feel more empowered! Because as an HSP, you DO see the world differently + that’s pretty rad!

9- The “cure” is in the slowing
Let me start by saying, there’s nothing to fix or cure. But in the beginning stages of working with your HSP trait, slowing is always the answer. Saying “no” sometimes when you want to say “yes”. Taking time to pause between tasks. Starting your day off intentionally + slower to truly check in with what you may need that day.

8- You are not alone
Sometimes being an HSP can feel pretty lonely. It can be hard to meet other HSPs, especially if you’re introverted. You are not alone + it takes time to find your people! Don’t give up <3

7- Your needs matter
Being sensitive means that you likely need spaces to be quieter + calmer. Maybe that means asking for more privacy or short breaks at work. That means communicating clearly with your partner or family about what you need to feel safe + settled around them. It’s amazing to speak up for what you want!

6- Connecting deeply with yourself invites connection with others
Getting to know yourself + understand what being an HSP is all about is highly rewarding. I find journaling to be especially helpful in getting to learn more about my inner world. What ways do you connect inward? Art? Movement? Poetry?

5- You aren’t too much / too sensitive / too emotional
You may have grown up hearing all these things + that your needs were silly because non-HSPs didn’t quite grasp how you felt. As an HSP, we do tend to experience emotions more deeply than non-HSPs, but it’s not too much!

4- You need more down time/ rest than others
Seriously. This may come more naturally to introverted HSPs but I know I still struggle with carving out time for rest - especially prior to or after a big social event or during a trip. I want to be involved in all the action but I’m also learning that my sensitive nervous system simply needs more quiet time + that’s ok!

3 - Your sensitivity is your superpower
I know, it’s kind of cheesy! But I really do hope you begin to view your sensitivity as something incredible + amazing, rather than burdensome. Anxious + sensitive people create some of the most beautiful + meaningful artwork. How can you learn to harness the power of your sensitivity?

2- Nothing is wrong with you!
I would tattoo this on every client if I could :) your sensitivity isn’t something to fix or try to get rid of. It’s just a part of you as much as your eye color, freckles, pointy nose, etc. Learning to love + embrace your sensitivity will be life changing!

1- Your gift is noticing subtleties in the world + in others - how can you share this gift?
What makes your sensitivity feel special? Not focusing on the negative/ annoying ways in which you’re different from others who aren’t HSPs. What about being HSP lights you up + helps you view the world differently?

Journaling Meditation

To listen to the guided version of this meditation, please click here.

Journaling is the way I often practice meditation. There’s a real magic in taking the thoughts in your mind and transforming them onto the page. 

Today, I’ll be offering you three journal prompts about self-care and self-trust. 

You’re welcome to listen and respond as you like. I would like to gently suggest that you simply listen to this recording first. Without the pressure to write down the questions or responses yet. Just allow yourself to experience each question unfold. Then you may choose to listen a second time,  writing down all three questions before stepping away from your phone to journal. 

Before we dive in, I’d like to lead you through a relaxing body scan. Whether you’re seated on the floor, lying down, or in a chair - take a few moments to get comfortable. Settle in. 

Start to bring awareness to your breath. Inhale through your nose. Exhale out your mouth. Inhale through your nose. Exhale out your mouth. Inhale, expanding your belly as if there was a balloon inside. Exhale, open mouth, easy long sigh out. 

A few more like this - inhale 3, 2, 1. Exhale 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Breathing into the nose - noticing the air at your nostrils. Breathing out of your mouth - observing the air flowing over the lips. 

Beautiful. Now, bring your focus to your belly. Can you soften here? Allowing each inhale and exhale to create a massaging wave from the inside out. 

Guide your focus to your heart space. Can you envision a bright, glowing green light here? Surround your heart with free flowing, loving energy. 

Next, take your awareness to your hips. Notice what they may be touching in space. The floor? A chair? Your bed? Allow the gentle pull of gravity to fully relax your hips into the earth beneath you. 

Legs soften. Feet relax. 

Travel up your spine to the shoulders and neck. Find some gentle rolls of the head side to side if you need. 

How’s your breath? Is it shallow and in the chest? Invite a few deeper breaths into your belly.     

Soften your face. Open and close the mouth. Squish the eyes closed and open. 

Take a deep breath. In. And out. Today, I’d like you to explore your relationship with self-care and self-trust. Do you know what things fill you back up? Do you listen to and honor your body’s needs?

I invite you now to stay curious about the following three questions. 

1 what is my body trying to communicate to me right now? 

2 how can I best support myself today? 

3 where can I grant myself a little more self-compassion? 

Allow the answers to flow freely. No one will read your responses. There’s no need to edit yourself. 

Take a deep breath. 

Be open. 

You can trust yourself. 

Remember, you can return to this recording at any time. Thank you for joining me today in this practice of journaling meditation. 

May you discover all the answers you’re searching for on the page.


Photograph by Hannah Sharriee

We Worry

I wrote + performed this poem for the You Aren’t Alone Project art event. YAAP is a non-profit in Baton Rouge whose mission is to create a network of support for mental health + wellness. The event beautifully combined art + mental health awareness.

 

Eyes not yet open.

First thought? Anxious. 

What is this pain in my neck?

Will it linger all day?

How did it start? 

Is it my fault?

It’s certainly my fault.

 

Feet graze the Earth.

Do I have enough time?

Am I already behind?

Why is my mind always racing? Worrying?

Grasping for something to overanalyze?

 

We flick on the kitchen light.

Am I hungry yet?

Should I drink water first?

Do the dogs need to go out?

Why does everything fall on me?

Weigh. On. Me.

 

We grab granola cuz it’s easier.

But shouldn’t I cook?

Eat something healthier?

Am I slowly killing myself from the inside out?

 

We finally enter my safe haven –

We sit on the furry rug.

A moment of pause.

You and me – we need a chat.

 

Me- the capital M me – who knows better.

Who still runs the show and makes the decisions.

Even when you – try to steal the show.

 

You. Anna. That’s the name I’ve given you.

I’ve become so engulfed by you –

I forgot that you actually are not me.

 

Anxious Anna.

Why are you here?

Constantly looming?

What are you trying so desperately to shield me from?

 

Pain.

Fear.

Truth.

Joy. 

Presence.

My God. Presence.

 

We worry.

Together. Day in and day out.

We sweat the small shit. 

We catastrophize trivial matters.

 

We worry.

We worry.

We worry.

Thank you, Anna, truly.

For attempting to keep me safe…

But really, you’re keeping me small.

 

Thank you, Anna, deeply.

Scanning for every misstep I may make.

But you are robbing me of being present in my own life.

 

Thank you, Anna, sincerely.

For your protection and worry. 

But I got this.

I run the show.

 

You may continue to worry.

But me? Capital M me – I need to believe.

To trust in myself and the goodness of the world that surrounds me.

 

We? We worry no more.

Community Care vs. Self-Care

Whether you’re a caretaker, teacher, medical staff, entrepreneur, or barista - these past two years have been taxing on all of us. Life isn’t meant to be lived in isolation; we are quite literally wired for connection.

 

Self-care has become a buzz-word that emphasizes luxurious spa days + a “treat yo self” attitude. But true self-care goes beyond mani/ pedis + some extra time in the bath.

 

Taking care of yourself is a necessity these days.

Prioritizing your mental health over productivity.

Honoring your body’s need for rest rather than pushing through one more workout.

Setting boundaries around work to create a better work/ life balance.

 

Yet, no matter how tremendous your self-care routines are, have you considered your community care?  Who holds space for you when you need it? Do you *feel* that sense of community that can support + help take care of you as well?

 

In the West, we are determined to lean into the lone-wolf archetype - fiercely independent + staunchly opposed to help from others. But does that really serve us?

 

For most of us, the pandemic really stripped away our connections to community. And unless you were basking in your lone-wolf solitude, your community care has likely been lacking.

  

So I’ll leave you with these questions to reflect / journal on:        

- What is my self-care like right now? Does it need a little re-evaluation? Am I doing things to truly take care of my self?

- Am I blocking my own ability to connect with others in meaningful + vulnerable ways?

- Has my idea of community shifted since 2020? Do I even want to reconnect with my previous forms of community?

- In what ways can I reconnect with community + allow for their support?