empowerment

100% More than Last Year

I am 100% more grounded than I was a year ago. And I still have days where I can’t quite settle.

I am 100% more in touch with my grief than I was a year ago. Yet I still find ways to ignore and numb my pain.

I am 100% more loving - to others and myself - than I was a year ago. But some part of me still chooses subtle abuse as a means of motivation. 

Healing is not linear. 

I know you’ve heard that before. But can you let it really sink in? 

Healing, like life, ebbs and flows. Sometimes it feels like you take two steps forward and one step back. In the really challenging times, maybe it’s even one step forward and two steps back.

But, sweet sensitive soul — 

The goal of healing is not to achieve perfection. 

The goal of healing is not to avoid ever being activated again.

The goal of healing is to learn... and unlearn. 

The goal of healing is to fall back into old patterns. Then recognize those reactions sooner to their origin, not years, months, or weeks later. 

The goal of healing is to show an immense capacity of love for your younger parts that have been trying to protect you all these years. 

The goal of healing is to live again. To know that you will be triggered by someone you love or a stranger on the street. And now, you know that you have richer resourcing and compassion to keep showing up for your life. 

Would you please take some time to journal, think, or create art about the ways in which you are 100% more [blank] than last year?

More confident. More calm. More angry. More uncertain. More connected. More artistic. More overwhelmed. Embrace it all.

I know it may not always feel like progress is being made, sweet soul… but, I promise it is.

You are 100% more healed than you were a year ago. And that is worth celebrating!

do not wait

do not wait
til it’s a full fuck yes
sometimes the best decisions
arise from a quieter perhaps

do not wait
til you fully know
because we never really know
ya know?

do not wait
for their opinions
or judgments of
what is right or wrong

do not wait
to pack the bag
hop the plane
uncover yourself somewhere a new

do not wait
for someone to help
rebirth you
for you + you alone can only do that

do not wait
for permission
do not wait
for certainty

I beg you
do not wait
do not wait
do not wait

“do not wait” 
4/24/22

Unraveling

I feel like I’m unraveling. 
Not in a good way.
Not in the way you slowly undress string cheese.
More like in the way you hit rock bottom.
Or like watching a slow crash + burn.

Unraveling the ways in which I think.
The ways in which I talk to myself.
The opinions I choose to grip onto tightly.

I am no longer biting my tongue.
I stand tall for my needs.
My wants. My desires.

I am unraveling my darkest layers.
I am unraveling to save myself.


”Unraveling”
12/28/21