How We Do December Wrong

I’ve been learning about and embodying this concept of shifting with the seasons. 

Spring is equated with renewal, growth, increased activity. 

Summer is made for fun in the sun. 

Fall is a time of shedding; slowing down, beginning to turn inward in preparation for winter. 

And in winter, we bask in quiet stillness and solitude. 

Yet in our culture, fall and winter are often the busiest seasons of the year. Christmas parties, holiday traditions, excessive drinking and celebrating, overindulging and overspending. We find ourselves caught up in the chaos of a busy social schedule every year and we wonder why we’re stressed, overwhelmed, and sick. 

We do December wrong. 

I’m not here to tell you to no longer attend a single social gathering in the month of December. No way! 

I am here, however, to invite you to examine if those social gatherings are truly nourishing and fulfilling you or are they leaving you drained? Are there some you attend out of obligation/ SHOULDs and can you let them go?

Most Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) are introverted, so maybe your ability to say “no” to social outings is greater than mine. But I am one of the rare extroverted HSP unicorns who does, in fact, love spending time with others. BUT…

This time of year is begging us for introspection, for more practices of self-inquiry and solitude.

Can you do both - find alone time and still be social? Of course. 

How can you slow down this season? To be clear about who and what really deserves your attention and energy?


Photograph by Hannah Sharriee

Resistance vs. Self-Trust

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about resistance (toward a new thing) versus knowing when something just is not for you.

I hate running. Or at least I *think* I hate running because I’m “bad” at it. 

Back in September, my husband and I started “training” for an October 5k. Spoiler alert! The training didn’t last long and we didn’t participate in the race! LOL

BUT I gave it the good ole college try… well, sort of. For two weeks, I ran. Three times each week, I followed the Couch to 5K App. (For those unfamiliar, the app uses interval training - AKA walk 2 min, run 1 min, walk 2, run 1 - over the course of several weeks so you can build up endurance to run a 5K.) Yet, every time the app would ding to start a running interval, I was filled with a fiery rage.

“Who does this?” 

“Why did I sign up for this?” 

“What if I get injured?” 

“It’s kind of fun … I almost get it.” 

“No, this is absolutely terrible and painful.” 

All thoughts I had in one 60-second interval of running. 

Resistance rears its ugly head when we know we need to work on a project but we procrastinate or when we have an amazing creative endeavor but no follow-through. According to Brianna West, in her book “The Mountain is You” about overcoming self-sabotage, “we often feel resistance in the face of what’s going right in our lives.” She goes on to explain that we are wired for comfort and safety, not happiness or thriving. 

Brianna’s solution to resistance is ensuring that you feel “safe enough to get attached to something new and important”. In infuriating duality fashion, however, she also warns that resistance may be a sign that something just is not right for us… 

So that was my dilemma. 

Do I simply not like running because that’s the story I’ve told myself since the beginning of time? (Resistance) “I’m not a runner!” / “Running is too hard on the body.” 

If I could learn to work with my resistance though, could running be a gateway to a new and enjoyable hobby once I get past the initial growing pains associated with it? 

Or do I not like running because deep down I *know* it’s just not really the ideal form of exercise for me and my body? (Trusting my intuition)

Maybe it’s both.

At the start of November, I decided to give another go at running. This time, however, I approached it differently. I scaled waaaay back - from running three times a week to one. Every Monday, I promised myself I would show up and run. No app to follow, no distance requirement to meet, no time to beat. Just simply show up and run.

And let me tell you - it’s been a game changer. 

Because for me, running isn’t about getting my body to be a certain shape. Or to run in races or beat any kind of record. Running is about encouraging myself to try something new, something hard, and quite frankly, something a little scary.

Will I be competing in marathons any time soon? Hard pass. 

Do I enjoy heading out the door every Monday and seeing what my body can do? Hell yea! 

Are there other ways to teeter on the edge of resistance and growth - to try something else instead of running? Of course.

I can face resistance like our culture teaches us to. I can grit my teeth and push myself beyond my limits. But is that loving? No. Is that really sustainable for me long-term? No. 

I’m also veryyyyy pro joyful movement and if you can’t find the joy in something, 10/10 do not do it. 

Showing up once a week to run allows me to play with my resistance (to running, to routine, to structure, amongst other things). I get to practice focusing on the “good” of running: the health benefits; the satisfaction of completing something difficult; showing up when I don’t want to. Rather than dreading each run, I get to show up curiously.

I get to decide if running is enjoyable or not. I can focus on negative thoughts - about my form, how slow I am, how fat I feel. Or I can lift myself up with each and every step. I am strong. I show up for myself. I am showing my body love today. 

Currently, I sometimes meet my Monday run with a little resistance. But I don’t have some deep inner knowing that running in inherently bad for me. I’m still learning lessons in it and I usually feel pretty amped up after I finish a jog. 

I also know to continue to check in with myself and be aware of the intuitive nudge that lets me know - “hey maybe this isn’t the most loving version of movement for us right now”. And then it’s time for a shift. 

Where do you face resistance? In building a new habit? In setting boundaries around your work schedule? Saving money? Cooking more? I wanna know! 

Are you able to identify resistance - standing in your own way of something great - versus fully knowing and trusting your gut when something just is not meant to be?

How do you handle the dueling dilemma of resistance versus listening to your intuition? 

How to Start (or Improve) a Routine

So you want a new or better routine? Maybe you want to exercise more or get to bed earlier. Maybe read more books or improve that hit-or-miss morning routine.

Y’all. The key is simple. Start small.

So small.

Smaller.

No really… Smaller! I mean it.

Let’s say you want to start running. You can download an interval training app (like Couch to 5K) and expect to run three times a week. And when life gets in the way or your body is crying for more rest, you fall behind and feel like a failure. Right? 

We’ve all been there and it fucking sucks.

So I challenge you to step back.

Commit to a routine but make it so small. SO SO SOOO SMALL!!! 

Instead of running three times a week for 20 minutes… run once a week for 3 short circuits (maybe that means one minute each or the length of one block).

Shit, maybe you need to start even smaller! Pick one day a week to simply put on your running gear (shoes, workout clothes, headphones / choice of music). You don’t even have to go on the run yet! 

Maybe you want ditch the in-bed doom scrolling to create a meaningful morning routine that starts your day off in gratitude. 

What’s that look like? Think small. 

Write down one line of gratitude in a journal by your bed. Don’t put pressure on yourself to start with a 30-minute meditation 7 days a week.

Hustle and grind culture (thanks patriarchy!) got us thinking that it’s all or nothing. NO PAIN, NO GAIN! Run til you bleed or it’s not worth it! Give 110% or you’re worthless!

Yet your soft, flowy, overly sensitive and anxious mind needs room to breathe. There will be days where we forget. Days where life prevents us from showing up in the way we hoped. As HSPs, we require more rest and  more time to process and I believe that’s true ten-fold in our desire to change.

Change is hella confronting. We are not wired for it! Your little brain wants to stay the same. Small, comfortable, stuck. So we gotta “trick” it with baaaaby steps toward growth.

So… what are we to do? Here are some things to play with:

1) Set a more realistic schedule or goal for yourself: 
+ Find a race in 6 months, not 2 
+ Wake up 5 minutes earlier, not 2 hours 
+ Read 10 pages of a book before bed, not an entire chapter 

2) Ditch the pressure of perfection: 
+ JUST SHOW UP - messy, imperfect, late, tired. But please, do show up. 
+ YOU dictate what is good enough. Nothing is perfect and perfect is boring anyway. 

3) Set a time limit for how long you explore this new routine: 
+ Give yourself a month and re-evaluate; is it really serving you or does it feel like another must-do on the never-ending-to-do-list? 
+ Literally write down your new habit/ routine in your calendar/ phone until it clicks; or set a reminder in 1 month to revisit this new routine

4) Feelings are wicked, man: 
+ Set up a system to get your butt to the new routine, no matter your *feelings* (see # 2 - just show up)
+ Be honest about your self-limiting beliefs that are allowing you to continue the cycle of self-sabotage and self-doubt

+ There’s tremendous growth in learning from our resistance to change

5) If the routine isn’t quite sticking:
+ Switch the time of day you begin your practice (meditate at noon, not first thing upon waking)
+ Fuck it and find a new hobby!!!!!!

Escape Being

early morning light creeps in

I resist the start of a new day

I want to stay trapped in my dreams

where fantasies are facts 

+ fear is fiction

where pain doesn’t 

soak into my bones

+ anxiety can’t 

touch my heart

facing another day means

experiencing 

humanness 

+ the mess of it all

meeting my doubts + insecurities

with arms held open in love

making space for every single

emotion that spikes in the day

in dreams

I escape reality

in reality

I escape [human] being

“Escape Being”
11/3/22 

We Need Your Healing

We Need Your Healing
I recorded this in 5 parts for Instagram. You can watch them here:
1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

I hope you arrive at the point of your healing journey where you stop just surviving and you begin to thrive. When you finally recognize that your nervous system is settled and you find an extreme amount of gratitude for being exactly where you are meant to be in your life. 

I hope you embody the art and beauty of slowing down. I hope you spend more days under the sun - simply basking in her light with no other agenda than to be. To be still. To be quiet. To be whole. To be fulfilled and utterly astonished that THIS is your one precious life. 

I hope you learn that your trauma need not define you. That your past mistakes and regrets no longer manufacture your entire personality. I hope you lean into the growth that you are destined for in this lifetime. 

I hope you soften and alchemize your pain and survival tactics into healing gifts. I hope you create art and shift the way we view the world.

As you arrive, embody, learn, soften - I hope you open your heart. To the love that you’ve been searching for. To the love that you are so deeply deserving of. 

I hope you arrive at the point of your healing journey where you stop just surviving and you begin to thrive. Because WE. NEED. YOUR. HEALING. 

Why I Do What I Do

For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me. Noises + smells + lights bothered me. Things that seemed insignificant to most of the world were sometimes detrimental to my day. 

I learned about Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) while acquiring my health + wellness coaching certification through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. 

Suddenly, everything clicked.

There was an explanation for being “too sensitive”. 
There was a reason for getting so easily overwhelmed. 
I wasn’t broken. Or mentally unstable.
I was simply S E N S I T I V E!

And if you’re sensitive, you know this world is not built for us. 
External stimulants are constant + never ending. 
And being “too emotional” is and has never really been celebrated. 

I never want anyone to feel alone, less than, or ashamed of who they are because of their sensitivity.

So here are just a few reasons why I work with + coach HSPs: 

To empower you to embrace your sensitivity

To help you learn how to channel your HSPness into beautiful art/ creativity

To #SlowDownListenUp in order to create more ease in your body + mind + heart + life

To build a deeper connection with yourself centered around self-love + self-care 

Follow along on Instagram @emindmove